Saint Louis is a very racially segregated area. It always has been and despite the fact that people try to hide it, the events in Ferguson have ripped that wound open and it goes deeper than many people realized. While I try to keep my mind free of the hate, anger, and fear I readily admit to falling into the old stereotypes that Saint Louis worked hard to breed into my mind.
That being said, I don’t know what happened on August 9th. I don’t know if Michael Brown was trying to surrender like witnesses said. I don’t know if he was charging Darren Wilson like the police said. I don’t know if his wounds were defensive like the prosecution said. I don’t know if they were offensive like the defense said. What I do know is that a family lost a child. A community lost itself in violence. A long forgotten past has been thrown into the media circus and a city is trying to come to terms with an unstable present and an unstable future.
Rioting and looting and burning down buildings doesn’t show solidarity for the black community. It doesn’t help bring about peace. It won’t change what has happened in the past. Rather, it reinforces old stereotypes that run deep in the white Saint Louis community. The city is destroying itself when really it needs to destroy it’s people. The people need to change: both white and black.
Yes, in Saint Louis many of the white people have a very negative view of blacks. But many blacks present themselves as thugs. Charles Barkley recently said something that needs to be taken to heart, not just in Saint Louis, but around the country and around the world:
“We as black people, we are never going to be successful, not because of you white people, but because of other black people. It’s a dirty dark secret, you know when there are young black kids doing well in school the loser kids tell ’em, ‘Oh, you’re acting white.’
“For some reason we are brainwashed to think if you’re not a thug or an idiot you are not black enough.”
This is important because that quote IS Saint Louis. Where the black kids who do well in school are just “white kids with a year-round tan.” Where black kids who want to succeed are pressured by the thugs because they are too white. It’s the thug culture that is the issue, not the black community.
I can’t pretend to understand what it is like to discriminated against because of skin color. I can’t pretend to understand what it is like to be afraid to send a child into the world and not know if they will be killed because of the wrong skin color. But I do know that if it is going to change we need to first change ourselves and then we can change the world.
This is a polarizing issue. I feel strongly about it because my family is in the middle of it. Others feel strongly about it for a different reason. The bottom line is that neither side is right. The police royally fucked up when they killed that boy and left his dead body in the street for over four hours. But the community, black and white, fucked up by rioting and looting. Nobody has the high ground anymore. All we can do is join together and dig ourselves out of the hole we all took part in creating.
I’m tired of recycling old photographs. I’m also tired of never having enough “me time” due to work, school, and family. This can only mean one thing: It’s time to pick up my camera again.
that I haven’t been able to recapture since I pack up my gear for the last time. Now it feels like my life is moving at 100mph and I can’t see the road anymore. I’m missing things because I’m always in a hurry.
Don't Eat the Pickles & Other Stories 