I had an amazing dream last night.
Obama’s last order in office was to have Seal Team Six kidnap Donald Trump on Inauguration Day and stuff him in a Port-o-Potty. Then, Alec Baldwin as Donald, Beck Bennett as Mike Pence and Kate McKinnon as Kellyanne Conway all go up as Donald is to be sworn into office.
Chief Justice Roberts senses something isn’t right.
“HEY! Aren’t you–“
“Yes, I am the Donald,” says Alec Baldwin.
Kate McKinnon nods her head neurotically as only Kellyanne can.
“Oh…riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.” Chief Justice Roberts is on to them now. He swears in Alec Baldwin as the 45th President of the United States and the entire fucking world breathes a sigh of relief.
It’s about this time that Seal Team Six frees the real Donald Trump from the Port-o-Potty. Naturally, he’s covered in the blue goo because they literally stuffed him in the toilet. He’s very upset and throwing a tantrum so the Senate agrees to hear him out.
After a joint hearing with the Senate and the House, they decide that since Alec Baldwin was already sworn in, it’s probably easier to just let him run the country. However, he has to promise to spend the next four years impersonating Donald Trump and anytime he is out of costume he must pretend to be Donald Trump impersonating Alec Baldwin. He agrees.
As his first presidential act, Alec-Donald gets rid of all the stupid cabinet picks and fills all the positions with actually qualified people. We spend the next four years not fucking ourselves and the world is actually really impressed with how ingenious America can be when we back ourselves into a corner.
The angry white men are still angry but they end up being the only losers in the end.
Unfortunately, it was all just a dream and Donald Trump himself was sworn in as America’s 45th President.
God help us.