Chutes and Ladders

“Are you feeling better,” my coworker asks following yet another prolonged absence.
“Oh, I’m hanging in there.”

The truth is, some days I’m barely hanging in there. Today is one of those days. I am overcome with insane amounts of nausea. Which is overall better than the crazy pain I was having but at the same time it’s really more of a lateral move.

I do try to look on the bright side. I’ve gotten the anxiety that dogged me for months under control. Which means I can go out and do things I enjoy again. But I feel like I am playing the worst game of Chutes and Ladders. Just when I feel like I’ve got things semi-under control, I hit that big ass ladder, you know the one, it goes from like square 99 to square 2? Then I have to start all over again.

As much as I am struggling to do so, I’ll just flick the damn spinner again and hope I land on a tall ladder for once. And that’s why I’m here, I guess. The last time I was sick, I turned to this blog. So I’m back. I can’t promise profound revelations about living with chronic illness. In fact, these musings will be anything but profound. Mostly, it will just be me trying to keep track of the good things on the bad days and being thankful for the good days.

So here’s my Resolution for 2017: try to blog everyday. Even if it is just a few lines, I just need to be present in the good and the bad.

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One comment

  1. I know you are hurting, as your presence is only hit and miss on the game pages. I am still praying the answer is getting close for you. You are way too young to have to go through this crap, but if it is character-building, you should end up with a doozy!! I’m happy to see you taking the high road and finding the good along the way. I’m taking a lesson from you, and will attempt to quit whining about my body sabotaging me in a, hopefully, temporary way. Even though we don’t talk daily, you are on my mind, with prayers, good thoughts, and lots of mental hugs!! ♥

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