Game Review: RollerCoaster Tycoon Deluxe

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RollerCoaster Tycoon was a freakin’ staple of my childhood.

I would spend HOURS building torture devices–I mean roller coasters–that would scare the bajeezus out of even Chuck Norris. Here are some of the high points of the game:

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These aren’t even half as bad as they could be…

Ability to charge insane prices to use the bathroom.

$10, please.

$10, please.

Drown patrons who dare to complain about the high price of using the toilet.

I'm sorry.  I guess you should have ponied up that $15...maybe next time.

I’m sorry. I guess you should have ponied up that $15…maybe next time.

Practice physics by building roller coasters that launch people to their deaths (velocity and speed are key).

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Just because the ride is open doesn’t mean you should get in line…

Everything in the park, from patrons to rides, can have a name

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I love it when “Your Mum” wants to ride “Biggus Dickus”

Learning what the patrons are thinking…

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You wanna hang out in the lake, too?!

The Cotton Candy Stand is pretty epic.

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Dude…no.

Things you didn’t even know could break down will break down.

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Did someone get stuck in the hedges? Did a hedge crush someone? How does this work?

There are other little goodies here and there.  Clicking on ducks makes them quack hysterically.  Players can charge patrons outrageous prices for balloons only to click on the balloon to pop it.  Maintenance men will randomly mow the grass…forever.  And there is the ever popular Sad Panda entertainer who will dance for people dumb enough to wait in line for a hedge maze.

But for me, it’s the simple joy of disgruntled customers that keeps me coming back for more.

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Man, you don’t even want to go near the toilets then.

Buy it. You won’t be disappointed.

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