Next to the Chopping Block: Michele Bachmann

Oh, yeah. She's the best choice.

I’ve made my love/hate relationship with Herman Cain very public.  Now, that he’s dropped out of the presidential race, I’m moving to my next favorite presidential hopeful (aka idiot), Michele Bachmann. Let me being by saying, that I feel it is impossible to be a conservative republican and be a woman.  Those two are not synonymous with each other or the republican philosophy.  Also, it is impossible to be a republican and be intelligent (Think George W. Bush, Herman Cain, and Michelle Bachmann).

Let’s start off with some quotes from Michele Bachmann.

Michele Bachmann on Gay Marriage*

JANE SCHMIDT: One of my main concerns is government support for the LGBT community. So my question is what would you do to protect GSAs in high school and support the LGBT community.

BACHMANN: Well, No. 1, all of us as Americans have the same rights. The same civil rights. And so that’s really what government’s role is, to protect our civil rights. There shouldn’t be any special rights or special set of criteria based upon people’s preferences. We all have the same civil rights.

JANE SCHMIDT: Then, why can’t same-sex couples get married?

BACHMANN: They can get married, but they abide by the same law as everyone else. They can marry a man if they’re a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they’re a man.

JANE SCHMIDT: Why can’t a man marry a man?

BACHMANN: Because that’s not the law of the land.

JANE SCHMIDT: So heterosexual couples have a privilege.

BACHMANN: No, they have the same opportunity under the law. There is no right to same-sex marriage.

JANE SCHMIDT: So you won’t support the LGBT community?

BACHMANN: No, I said that there are no special rights for people based upon your sex practices. There’s no special rights based upon what you do in your sex life. You’re an American citizen first and foremost and that’s it.

ELLA NEWELL, a junior at Waverly High School: Wouldn’t heterosexual couples, if they were given a privilege then, that gay couples aren’t, like given that privilege to get married, but heterosexual couples are given a privilege to get married?

BACHMANN: Remember every American citizen has the right to avail themselves to marriage but they have to follow what the laws are. And the laws are you marry a person of the opposite sex.

Michele Bachmann on the “Iranian Embassy”**

“That’s exactly what I would do (if I were president). We wouldn’t have an embassy in Iran.  I wouldn’t allow that to be there.”

Michele Bachmann on (being a) Lyin’ Ass Bitch***

“If that had been Michelle Obama, who’d come out on the stage, and if that song had been played for Michelle Obama, I have no doubt that NBC would have apologized to her and likely they would have fired the drummer, or at least suspended him.  None of that happened from NBC. And this is clearly a form of bias on the part of the Hollywood entertainment elite, but it’s also, I think, sexism as well. This wouldn’t be tolerated if this was Michelle Obama; it shouldn’t be tolerated if it’s a conservative woman either.”

Michele Bachmann on her “Squeaky Clean” Record

“I haven’t had a gaffe or something that I’ve done that has caused me to fall in the polls.”

The problem with Michele Bachmann, in my opinion, is that she is Michele Bachmann.  If a conservative or a republican must take office, can it least be someone intelligent (oxymoron, I know).  But seriously, let’s consider my monkey experiment.  Thank you for your time (This has been a Public Service Announcement from InnatelyKait).

She's not just crazy...she's batshit crazy.

Footnotes

* Michele Bachmann has a sister…who is a lesbian (I bet that makes for FANTASTIC family gatherings).

** The Iranian embassy was taken over in 1980 and all members were held hostage for over 400 days.  It was shut down after the hostages were released.  I was born 7 years later and even I know this.  Why does Michele Bachmann get to run for president WITHOUT this knowledge?  I wonder if she saw the Iranian Embassy from Sarah’s backyard?

*** If Michele Bachmann is running for president, why is she comparing herself to the FIRST LADY?

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